Braces and more therapy

Isabelle had her appointment at Gillete today. They decided to use braces on her feet/ankles to help give her more support. She had a mold made of her legs and feet today and on the 26th we'll go and get them fitted and she can wear them. We got to pick a pattern to be on them- flowers and lady bugs. They will come up just above her ankles, so they shouldn't be too noticeable. They will fit her for about a year, give or take and then they will decide if she needs bigger ones or if she's strong enough. They examined and observed her quite a bit and decided she should be evaluated for speech and occupational therapy as well. So I will call the school district and set those up and if they think she needs it that will be added to our schedule. The dr. was concerned with her hips and thought they could have been dislocated. So they did an xray and they were fine, but she said they'll recheck and keep a close eye on that because babies with low tone can dislocate their hips easily. I will go back to see that dr in May to reevaluate and check up. On the 24th she has two dr appointments - pediatric check up and ear check up, and on the 26th she has two appointments - brace fitting and immunologist.

As I was sitting in the office I could see how much more of a struggle it could be with her. Children in wheel chairs, some couldn't talk, some had deformities... yet such beautiful children and the parents were so proud of them and would do anything for them. It's just amazing to me the love of a mother for her child - no matter what. Though we have had a lot going on with Belle, she has taught me so much. I am learning to take things a day at a time. I'm learning to appreciate every thing in life - every little milestone, every little laugh, how much she enjoys life - it's so amazing.

Now, on the other hand, I get so overwhelmed. I really do most of this myself because Jose works a lot (he is a wonderful dad and would do more if he could) and sometimes it's really hard. I'm not the most organized person and I really have to be with all these appointments and remembering to bring what to whom and call this person to refer her to this person, send records here from there...etc. etc. And not to mention just the mom worry that happens. Am I doing the right thing, am I doing enough, should I have done something different, did I do something to make her this way, will she have a successful and happy life.... Of course I know in my head the right answers but sometimes my heart thinks other wise. Luckily I'm getting much better and spend more time in appreciation then in anxiety

On that note, I think I'll end my blog for today - I'm emotionally exhausted between anxiety, sadness, happiness, gratefulness, and determination it can really wear a person out!